What Will You Do After?
by This Is Sarcasm
Summary: "Maybe I'll just live." More Normandy crew fluff, takes place during Citadel DLC. Consumer Warning: contains witty humor, alcohol, nicknames, Garrus being a sucker for his friends, Garrus trolling said friends, and a Shepard who hates disorganization. If you are allergic to any of these, DO NOT READ THIS FIC!


"So, what are you going to do when the War is over?"

It was Kasumi who asked the question.

"Hmmm." Shepard pondered, swirling his drink in his hand. "I dunno. Take a vacation? Sleep late, go to bed early? Eat nothing but hotdogs, for sure."

"Oh, yes. Commander Shepard can't live without hotdogs, at all." Ashley chuckled. "Hey Garrus, remember that time we ran out on the SR1?"

"Garrus?"

The only response was a hiss of 'be quiet' from the first floor. Shepard looked over the railing... and let out a 'kh' of exasperation when he saw the turian trying to stack empty shot glasses on the forehead of a passed out Javik.

"Really, dude?" was all James said. The Normandy's resident sharpshooter shot the human a slightly drunken grin that made a few of those present put down their drinks, lest they wind up Garrus' next victim.

"When this war is over, you're all gonna look back on this"-he gesture to his handiwork-"and you're miss my genius."

"When this war is over, I hope I never see your ugly mug again!" Grunt shouted from the kitchen. Garrus made an odd clicking noise and stood, having run out of both shot glasses, and space to put them without the impressively tall stack falling over.

"Personally, I think I'll continue as the Shadow Broker." Liara said, grabbing their attention. "Though first, I intend to find Feron as soon as I can."

"Oh, yeah, him." Shepard looked thoughtful. "How is he, anyway?"

"Last I saw him, he was still... recovering." the asari told him slowly. "He still has nightmares, and anxiety attacks. But physically, he's been doing as well as he can be. I only hope isolation doesn't undo what was done to help his mental state; up until Mars, we had left each other's company very little."

"Sounds like you two are close." Ashley commented.

"I consider him a good friend, yes." Liara nodded. She took a small drink, and spoke again. "What about you, Ash? Any plans?"

"None, so far." the Specter shrugged. "Might continue with this whole 'Specter' thing, if the Council's not in ruins by the end of it all. Hey, Mr. No Brakes; what about you?"

"'No-Brakes'? Huh?" Shepard snorted up some of his drink as James' cheeks went red.

"Hey, now; it's me who does the nick-naming around here!" he protested.

"Yeah, he has pretty much renamed all of us." The Commander agreed.

"Ooo, ooo, ooo! I want a nickname! I want a nickname!" Kasumi bounced in her seat. "Do me! Do me!"

"Okay, then." James chuckled, sitting up, regarding the excited thief with arms crossed and a thoughtful look on his face. "Whatever you say... Gopher."

Everyone else cast him confused looks while Kasumi squealed with joy.

"Gopher? Where did that come from?" Shepard asked.

"'Cuz the little lady keep popping up everywhere. I went to take a leak earlier- *poof*, there she is, makeup in front of the mirror, all like 'occupied' and all that." he shook his head. "Haven't been that embarrassed since basic..."

"Guess we know what you're doing; you're going to nickname everyone in the galaxy." Kasumi declared solemnly. "Ooo, do the Council!"

"Lets not and say we did."

"I don't know about you guys, but I'm just going to sit back, and watch all those kids on Tuchanka play." Wrex told them as he came around the corner to join them. "Rebuild what the krogan used to be."

"My mission might just be to build up Javik's alcohol tolerance level." Garrus chirped from below. "Took two drinks, and he was out! We've gotta fix this!"

"I'll be sure to visit Tuchanka sometime to see all that." Shepard smiled sadly as he remembered Mordin's sacrifice to fix his mistake, to usher in a new age for a species that had hated his own for a millennia. Leaning over the railing to see Garrus dragging the resident prothean over to a couch, having removed the shot glasses, he grinned. "And count me in, Garrus!"

"Should we be concerned about that?" Ashley whispered, jerking a thumb at mischievous turian.

"Eh, if the kid can't hold his drink, best he learn his limits the hard way... even if Vakarian gets to be smug for a while." Wrex shrugged.

"You do realize he's fifty thousand years older than you, right?" James raised an eyebrow.

"Stasis years don't count. You all look young as pups to me."

"Hey, uh..." Cortez's head poked around the corner, the shuttle pilot looking sheepish, his cheeks a bright shade of red. He looked flustered. "Tali's a little... well, waaaay out of it. As in 'she thought I was Garrus' out of it."

If possible, his face went even redder, and Shepard could't stop the broad grin in time. Tali's major crush on the Garrus was noticeable to everyone _except_ for Garrus.

"She... um, said some things." was all Cortez elaborated.

"Well, estaban, I'll assure you one thing." James reassured his best friend, leaning forwards slightly with an evil glint in his eyes. "You're nowhere _near_ as ugly as Garrus."

"I heard that!" called the turian from where he was now rearranging every piece of furniture several inches out of alignment, much to Shepard's fury. "When this war is over, I _will_ find you, and I _will_ kill you! After making you look like me!"

 _Clever bastard!_ Was all Shepard could think as he took in his living room-correction, his new living room, which had been pristine and neatly arranged when he got it. Now, everything was out of place, there was a drunk prothean passed out of his couch, and a smug-as-hell turian who was responsible for all of it striding around with a look on his face evil enough to belong to a Reaper. _Well played, Garrus. Well played._

* * *

"What are you going to do after the war?" as one of the only people left up, Shepard found himself overlooking the scene with Miranda.

"Spend time with Oriana." she answered almost immediately. There was undeniable fondness in her gaze as she spoke about her sister, making him almost jealous of her; his father had died before any more 'tiny Shepards' could be put in the works. The closest thing he'd ever had to a brother... well, that would probably be Garrus.

"I guess you would. How's it feel, getting to be a big sister?" he asked. He wanted to know, since he had never experienced the pleasure of siblings himself.

"Better than anything I've had before." she sighed, and looked at him with a slight smile. "I guess I should thank you, for convincing me to talk to her."

He only nodded absent-mindedly as he surveyed the living room. Javik was still on the couch, the occasional twitch of his wrists the only indication he was asleep and not dead, and Shepard wondered if he was dreaming about fighting. It would make sense. Grunt was much less lucky; he was passed out on the floor... nearby where Shepard could have sworn there had been a lamp before. Samara was still meditating, someone had moved Joker to one of the other couches, and EDI's frame was sitting stock still in a chair close to the pilot.

Similar scenes could be found throughout the apartment, and Shepard found himself silently thanking whoever had put all the drunks to bed.

"Well, I had better get going. Something tells me we have quite the week ahead for ourselves." Miranda excused herself.

"Yeah. You be careful out there; gotta live up to those post-war plans." Shepard offered her a smile, and a handshake, and then she was gone. Taking one last look at the living room, he moved to check up on the rest of the crew. He still hadn't found Tali, nor Garrus. His answer as to why was found in one of the guest bedrooms; it seemed as if Garrus had been the one picking the crew up off the floor after all, and had taken the initiative to move the utterly wasted quarian from wherever Cortez had found her.

And promptly fallen asleep right beside her afterwards. Shepard smiled. It looked like Tali had refused to let go of her metaphorical knight in shining armor when he put her down, so his friend was half-on half-off the bed with the unconscious quarian's arms around his neck. Still grinning, the Commander moved around the bed, grabbed his best friend's legs, and shoved them onto the mattress with the rest of him. There was a horrible temptation to capture the moment with a picture.

 _Gotta admit, they do kinda look like the perfect could right about now..._ he wondered if there had been any drunken confessions. Heaving a sigh, he cast one last look at Garrus, realizing that none of the 'what will you do after' answers the turian had given were serious, and moved to turn the lights out.

"What _will_ you do when it's all over?" he muttered despite himself as he flipped the switch. He wasn't expecting the reply that came as he walked out the door, sleepy and slurred with all the exhaustion his best friend in the entire galaxy never let show-just one more thing they had in common.

"Maybe I'll just live."

Commander Shepard smiled.

"Sounds like a plan, buddy."

One he wasn't entirely adverse to himself.

* * *

 _Just some more shameless crew fluff._

 _Like other crew fluff works, this takes place in the same universe as Out of Tricks._

 _Fare Thee Well!_


End file.
